Beyond Words with Fazil Khan

I started reading this book three or four months back and I took my time to finish it. What an incredible book!!! Personally, I have learned a lot from this book. I can surely say that now I am not the person I was before reading this masterpiece. Honestly, I suggest that you to read it yourself to get the most out of it, but if you don't get a chance you can always come here to read the highlights. So let's start with the thought which will help you achieve anything in the world, "A person is a product of his own thoughts" Our mind is a thought factory , a very busy one, producing countless thoughts in one day. Production in this factory is under the charge of two foremen, Mr. Triumph (incharge of positive thoughts) and Mr. Defeat (incharge of negative thoughts). These guys are very obidient and come to attention immediately. To see how these foremen work for you, try this example. Tell yourself "Today is a lousy day." This signals Mr. Defeat into action...

 It’s been a while. Almost four months since I last wrote anything here. Life happened in between. My wedding preparations, the month of fasting and then after Eid, my wedding. To be honest, even after a month after getting married it still feels unreal when I say it out loud. Somewhere between all of that, writing and posting took a back seat. But today I finished reading “The Courage to be Disliked”, and it’s one of those books that doesn’t let you move on so easily. So here I am, back again, trying to put some of those thoughts into words. Do not consider this as a book summary, instead think of it more like a conversation about few ideas that stayed with me which made me rethink everything. 1. Your past does not define your current situation We love blaming the past for our current situation. Bad school experiences, childhood traumas, strict parents, rejections, failure etc. It gives our present struggles a neat explanation. This is called “Etiology”. The concept of cause a...

  I find myself constantly hungry to improve my communication skills, which led me to buy this book. I genuinely believe this is one of the best books a beginner can read to improve day-to-day communication skills, regardless of the language they speak. This book shows how small speaking habits can make or break conversations, relationships, and even business deals. It shares simple techniques that work in person, over phone calls, and in emails. It helped me understand how top leaders communicate and how salespeople make their pitches more effective. The real-life examples make everything easy to follow and relate to. Now, I find myself noticing which techniques people are using when they talk to others or to me.  Coming to the question,  What are my top 10 learnings from this Book?   1. Leave an escape hatch  → Whenever you catch someone lying, filching, exaggerating, distorting, or deceiving, don’t confront the dirty duck directly. Unless it is your resp...

Kya majra hai ke khush hota nahin? What is the matter that you do not feel happy? Chain ki neend ab tu sota nahi.. You no longer sleep the sleep of peace. Aisa kyoon hai ke bhook mit ti nahi, Why is it that your hunger never fades, ek cheez pe kyoon ankh tik ti nahi.. Why can your eyes not stay fixed on one thing? Ham bhi hain tumse sataye hue, We too are troubled, just like you, Yahi sari thokar hain khaye hue, We have stumbled over the very same stones. Ye kya majre hain bata dijiye Tell us, what is truly going on? Ham hi se yoon ab na gila kijiye.. Do not complain only to us like this. Shayad hue hain khuda se yoon door, Perhaps we have drifted far from God, wo Rahman, wo Sattar, Aziz al Ghafoor.. He who is the Most Merciful, the Concealer, the Beloved, the Most Forgiving. Ham hi ne hai usko yoon thukra diya, We ourselves pushed Him away, Zikar uska bas din Juma ke kiya.. Remembering Him only on Fridays. To qaraar, qalb e napaak kaise paye ? So how can an im...

Reading is sneaky. You pick up a book thinking you will read for ten minutes. You blink and suddenly it has been one hour, your tea is cold and your brain feels smarter for no clear reason. Books do this every single time. They change you gently, without telling you what they are doing. For people in their twenties, books become a secret mentor. This age group deals with a mix of career confusion, relationship surprises, personal growth pressure and a constant fear of not doing enough. Books, both fiction and non fiction, step in like a calm friend who whispers, relax, you are learning. The drifting generation There is no denying it. Our generation is slowly drifting away from books. Screens are winning every single day. A two hour movie feels easier than a three hundred page novel. A short video feels more attractive than a detailed chapter. Even reading an article feels tiring when a reel can explain it in twenty seconds. It is not because young people dislike reading. It is bec...

Let’s be honest. Every month starts with the same energy that this time, we’ll save. We open our banking app, maybe set up a spreadsheet, and feel like financial geniuses. Then one fine day, there’s a Swiggy notification, a weekend plan, or a “limited time” offer, and the budget quietly leaves the WhatsApp group. Saving money sounds logical. But logic disappears the moment food, offers, or emotions enter the chat. And our brain? It’s that one friend who says, “Arre, we’ll start saving from next month for sure.” 1. The Instant Gratification Trap We love immediate happiness. That’s why buying something online feels so good. The order confirmation, the delivery updates, the unboxing, all of it gives us a high. But saving money? No thrill, no excitement. Just a silent number in an account that doesn’t clap for us. Our brain would rather choose a plate of momos today than a bigger bank balance next month. And honestly, who can blame it? 2. The Emotional Math of Money Money and emotio...

In my last post, I shared the first 8 techniques from Leil Lowndes’ book How to Talk to Anyone . Those were mostly about first impressions, posture, and body language. This time, we’re moving a little deeper into how to blend into conversations, make people feel comfortable, and avoid awkward starts. As always, I’ll remind you, I am not perfect at this. I am a learner. Sometimes I try these techniques and end up doing them half-right, but that’s still progress. Sharing them here helps me remember, and maybe it will help you too.                                                            9. Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene Picture this. You open a door, stride into a room, and boom, you are instantly louder than everyone else. The conversation freezes, all eyes on you, and you realize you just walked in...

A year ago, I was lying on a hospital bed with my eyes wide open, bright lights above me, and a surgeon’s steady voice guiding me through PRK. I still remember that ride home. It was a mix of excitement, hope, and honestly, a bit of fear. Would I really wake up one day and see clearly without glasses? Or had I just signed up for months of regret? Today, it has been one full year since that moment. I think this is the perfect time to look back and share how life has changed. Life Before Surgery For context, I had a power of -5 in both eyes . Which meant I could barely recognize my own reflection in the mirror without glasses. Watching TV without them was like listening to a radio. You knew something was happening, but you had no clue what. Glasses with that high power brought their own struggles. They slid down my nose every two minutes, fogged up in the rain, and left me squinting under helmets. Waking up at night and fumbling for them just to check the time was my daily routine. ...

We have all been in that awkward situation. You meet someone new, you want to make a good impression, but suddenly your brain forgets how to function. Your smile feels fake, your hands do weird things, and you wonder if you are blinking too much. Leil Lowndes, in her book How to Talk to Anyone , shares 92 little tricks that make conversations easier. Let me walk you through the first 8, with my own take on them. On a personal note, I recently started reading this book and have managed to cover these first 8 techniques so far. I am also trying to implement them in my own life, sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much. Although I am nowhere close to perfect in using these techniques, I remind myself that I am still a learner, and every little attempt counts. Since I found them useful (and honestly, fun to practice), I thought I should share them here with you too. 1. The Flooding Smile Most of us have a “camera smile,” the one that appears instantly and disappears even faster. T...

Have you ever caught yourself unlocking your phone, without any real reason, just to “check something”? Do you ever open Instagram, YouTube, or Netflix telling yourself “just for 5 minutes” , only to realize hours have flown by? And the most uncomfortable question: When was the last time you created something meaningful… instead of just consuming what others created?                                                     We are living in a loop. Scroll. Tap. Laugh. Swipe. Repeat. It feels harmless, but here’s the truth. Every like, every notification, every binge-worthy video is hijacking your brain’s dopamine system. It rewards you instantly, but leaves you emptier over time. This is why people talk about a “dopamine detox”. Not because dopamine is bad, it is essential. But too much cheap dopamine is stealing your focus, your crea...

Author’s note Bhaiyasaheb Chaudhari is a close friend from our college days, the kind you share meals and milestones with. His GATE 2025 score is 72.34, with an All India Rank of 403, and he has recently joined IIT Kanpur. For him, the method mattered more than the medal, but the medal feels good too. How I know Bhaiyasaheb We first met through a mutual friend, Krushnal, and the connection stuck because our study rhythms and goals lined up. We were in different colleges on the same campus—same grounds, same canteen lines, same exam seasons. We played Kushti  ( video link ) together on the college ground, the kind of sport that teaches patience, leverage, and timing. But honestly we played just for fun. We ate together at his flat because we had hired a maid to cook; those simple dinners became our routine check-ins—what worked today, what’s next tomorrow. We also sat for a bunch of exams in the same seasons—NPTEL tests, GATE attempts, and regular college assessments—often...